what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
