Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
