My sheets look like a crime scene.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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