"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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