all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
