Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Randomize
