glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sext me about skeletons
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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