i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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