i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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