At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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