thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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