a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
