if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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