Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
