So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
