is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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