I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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