I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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