Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
