If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The air taste purple.
Randomize
