you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
