maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
