I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
