bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
