we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
