ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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