The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My vagina just clenched in fear
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
