the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
