got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
