Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
