There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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