Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
