Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
this hospital has no fireball
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
