i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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