Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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