Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
