he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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