would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
