Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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