Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i came on her dog
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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