so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
