please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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