What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
