My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
