we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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