best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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