I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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