i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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