I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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