i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
