I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
