They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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