all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
