Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
