I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
